P Funk
That's the only thing that makes me feel somewhat like moving and feeling good. This morning, for like 2 minutes I forgot about everything, MIL's cancer, baby worries, money worries, dirty apartments, crap work, and I felt really good. It happened as I was walking into work, the sun hit my back and it warmed me up so much that I forgot it was winter, the wind blew and for a split second it felt like how it does on an early Spring morning.
Then I kept walking in and realized that was just a small reprieve.
I don't know. There is so much on my mind, I don't even know where or how to start. I feel sad, worried, and tired. MIL starts her chemo this week and I'm scared. I don't quite know what to say, so I tend to bumble:
Me: We can fix you soup.
Me: I can sweep your hallway.
Me: You want a silk or cotton scarf?
Its just scary because you hear the word chemo and of course you get the worse possible images in your head. I am trying to visualize it as something else though, not as your body breaking down and you feeling sick, but as your body trying to rid itself of the sickness and start anew. Fresh. Rebirth.
The way it looks now, her chemo should end about a month after the baby is born. That will be a real time to celebrate.
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