Reflection Fridays

Lots of blogs I read (even though I don't have a hellta long lists of a blogroll) have certain days where they focus on certain things. I'm going to try to make fridays reflection days...maybe some pics or music...just something to reflect on the purpose isnt to be sad or just recollect for the sake of recollectin', but to maybe learn a little bit, to re-collect memories and think about them for what they bring me now.

I'm thinking of this song....an oldie but goodie (aren't they all? or that's what we always say about our music....



I think what I like so much about this song is that he's not reflecting with a sadness or a lamenting, he does it to remember. So much of the reflecting done in my family is often done with a tinge of sadness now, because we remember and so many of the folks who are dominate figures in our memories aren't there anymore....its a struggle for me to remember or recollect or reflect without that sadness...but its something I'm trying to work on....

...Its weird that even some of our happy moments are now also paralleled with sad ones because of all that's happened in the past few years. Thinking about babe's birth, its almost inextricably tied to my gma's death, she passed just 6 weeks after babe was born. When my gma came to visit me in the hospital after a 16 hour labor, c-section with general anesthesia, and no food for 48 hours, she didn't say very much. She mainly just sat and looked at babe, made sure her pieces were there and then she left, maybe her visit was like 10 or 15 minutes long, but she was ailing and waiting for her own surgery (which wouldn't work). But I remember how she looked at babe, and more importantly how she watched DH and I caring for babe. I couldn't move much, so DH did the walking, and I did the nursing. She could see us work together as a team, she always said she knew DH and I were made for one another......
And then there was one of the last conversations I had with gma, probably about 3 weeks before she would pass, she told me how to bathe babe. Babe had a horrible diaper rash and I could not for the life of me figure out how to get rid of it. Gma suggested bathing her daily and making sure I took the plastic out of the baby tub, "just let her rest on a clean white towel."

And so my reflection today is that I'm just thinking back to when I didn't have sad things coupled with happy things, just like Ahmad says, "when all you had was a little homework." But I guess there is something to be be said about the bitter sweet...what it is I just don't know yet...