"You are your father's daughter."

I am my father's daughter. My mom reminds me of that whenever I get loud, argue, accuse someone of being "out to get me," or act overly paranoid. How can it be that the one person I feared and ran from for well over ten years, is the one person I see now as an ally, sometimes the only ally I have outside of H.
Maybe its because of his attitude (harsh, loud, conservative, theatrical, humorous) that now I really want to throw caution to the wind and do what I want to do. I don't mean that in a selfish way, naw, shit, maybe I do. Why is it that when you try to think of other people and what they want, or suggest, things seem to be so much more complicated. But, if you think only of yourself, while you might be happy you risk so many others being unhappy, either as a direct result of your actions, or an indirect result.
The past six months have changed me as a person, but my core remains the same. That seems contradictory, and I'm not even sure what I mean by that statement exactly. I just know that the same things I wanted six months ago are the same things I want right now, maybe even more so. Being pregnant, I know that I have to think of this person, this little girl who is inside of me. Everything I do directly affects her, what I eat, when I sleep, exercise, even showering (she does not like when the shower water hits my belly, she hits back). But the other decisions and choices I have to make affect her too, and I wonder just what it is I'm doing, and if its too late to change. And if I change, will those decisions really be any better for her.
I'm just tired.