100

This is my 100th post. I've had this blog since June of 2005 so its still relatively young and I am very much a newbie. That should be evident, I don't know html, don't have any pics, nor have I quite figured out how to do the blogroll. But on this 100th posting I wanted to reflect on why I started this blog in the first place. Initially, I cited my goals as the following:

i am startin this blog for many reasons:*i've been meaning to start
documenting my transition from adjunct life to grad school phd life*i want to
have an 'outside' writing environment, separate from my journaling*i want a
place to write where i can connect to others in the Blog-0-sphere
atmosphere

Well, I don't know how much I've kept those goals. I really can't document my transition from adjunct-dom to phd-om because I'm not going anywhere. But this has been a place for me to document my travels from adjunct-dom to full time work to pregnancy to...who knows whats to come. This has become an outside writing environment, I tend to only journal at most once or twice a week now privatley. And as far as this being a place for me to connect to other bloggers, I guess I still feel pretty isolated. That isolation comes from myself in some respects, I have a few blogs that I do post comments on and occassionlay those folks visit me. But I've also got tons of blogs that I read and never write a comment on because I feel like the little kid on the blogging playground with the fake keds. Come on, you know what I'm talking about. The fake keds your mama would get you from Kmart, they looked like the real keds, they just didn't have the keds written on the back.

I guess I need to break out of my blogging shell. I'm always embarressed by my writing though. That could be why I hate to look back over my thesis or anything I did in school. Why am I so embarressed to see it? I dread the thought of trying to ever publish anything because I lack confidence in my words. No, not in my words but in the way I use my words.

So, I don't know how my goals have held up. At least I did have something.

Now, my goals for the next 100 posts:

-Continue to be honest about tracking my feelings.

-Spend at least once a week posting about something good. Even if I have to look real hard out of my evil little eyes.

-Just be.

*****

At lunch today, my bro gave me a really cool quote from a song (I'll have to look that up later), from Mos Def.

"how you got high expectations, with no patience?"

Taping that one to my head.