Reflections..honest

This semester I took a class because I wanted to get back into the swing of school and because I simply adore learning. This semester I took a class with a babe, something I've never done. This semester I became The Student I Dread. How did this happen? Well, lets reflect on my behavior:

• I missed more than the allotted 'free miss' days. I missed 3 to be exact.
• I emailed the professor with questions that I could have answered had I been in class.
• I told the professor that I'd had difficulty finishing an assignment because of personal things at home, namely not having time with a babe to write/research on time.
• I turned in 2 assignments late.
• I did not always read the book.

I dread the fact that I didn't fully utilize this opportunity. Why did I act in this manner? I am a teacher I should know better. I should have planned my time better, should have lined up babysitter assistance so that I could complete homework assignments. Should have made my own deadlines instead of the ones on the syllabus because I know what kind of writer I am, I have to have many mini-writing sessions because I'm not good at just sitting down and cranking things out in long periods of time. So what I have I learned for the future?

• You have a babe. That means you might miss more than the allotted number of classes sometimes. Plan accordingly and don't skip a class one night just because you are lazy* (or afraid of getting a paper back), realize that you may need to save your free 'miss' class in case a babe needs you to take off for legitimate reasons.
• Refer to the first bulletin. But also, don't be afraid to ask questions for clarification.
• Be honest. Don't feel guilty because you have a child and are going to school. You still deserve to be here. But also realize that you've got to budget your time accordingly and this means that you must work in a different way than from how you once worked before, pre-babe.
• Again, time management-and deadlines.
• Just read the damn book.

Much of what I learned about myself this semester is that I do need deadlines. I do need some type of structure. And more than that, I do belong in school, even with a babe. Babe has taught me so much about myself this semester its not funny. That's for another post...

*much of my laziness comes from fear. I fear I'm not going to have the 'smartest' or 'wittiest' answer, or something that the teacher wants to see, so I dread doing the work, thus putting me on a cycle of dread-fear-dread-fear-get too tired from all the dreading and fearing and don't do any doing.