Tomorrow is the first of many lasts. DH has his last day of work at the place he's been for the past seven years. He's been through a lot there, we got engaged when he first started working there, were married, had our first babe, his mom got sick, my granny died, so they've seen DH through a lot of changes, a lot of changes. I think his leaving is bittersweet. He's wanted a change, but has enjoyed some of what he's done. He's grown to think of some of his office mates as family and others, well, I guess its just best to let it be at that. I think its weird for me because it makes the move even more real. It was real before when I started moving things into the living room in our things to take pile, but now that DH is saying goodbye to his job, I don't know I guess I really see things coming together (so why do I feel like they are falling apart?).
The past week has been really hard on me. Honestly, I've had a hard time sleeping at night and have just felt really anxious, my eating habits have been poor and I've also not been riding my bike or doing any exercise. Most of my 'free' time has been trying to plunge through books, reorient myself with my field of study, prep things for the move, or to just worry. And I'm just sick of it now. Its really annoying me now. I'm usually a nervous nelly, but I'm tired of letting my fear(s) just control my thinking. Every new thing I experience I don't allow myself to just experience sans nervousness. So I'm really deciding to just stop. Here is a list of the things I am going to stop doing:
*talking in absolutes about everything.
*thinking that everything has to turn out poorly.
*guessing.
*trying to be a fortune teller.
*telling myself I'm not smart (enough).
*wasting time.
*worrying about not being able to control the worrying.
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1 comment:
its good to think in asteriks :)
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