ernesto

We're getting hit hard with rain from ye ole ernesto. That combined with the fact that the babe is feeling sniffly and teething means that I'll be staying in most of the day. No complaints with that, just wishing that I had some better snacks in the house.

I looked back over what I wrote earlier about feeling crazy. And I can answer my own question, LOL, no I'm not crazy. I'm just having a hard time dealing with the way things are:

I miss my grandma horribly. The raw hurt that I feel will heal with time, but maybe it would be helpful to do something to try and get myself to think more positively about her. Most of the time I focus on her last month which was so difficult and full of so much pain. Maybe every Friday I'll post a story or memory. I think sometimes I'm afraid I'll forget.

I do have a baby now and that means I can't get things done the way I used to. Tough tits. (literally) This just means I will have to pick my projects carefully and work even harder. That's a challenge that should be good for me.

I do want to be a teacher. There's no denying that. I am also disappointed that I've not been able to start school. I'm sick of the adjuncting game. But I've got to look at what I do have, a beautiful, wonderful, daughter.

Now, the hard part is just applying and remembering.