missing her.

Some times, since my gma passed, memories come at me out of no where. I can just be driving and all of sudden one will rush over me. Today it happened and it hurt. I was driving down to county house to meet some workers when all of a sudden it just hit me that I hadn't been to my gma's house in well over a month, longer probably. That used to be unheard of. I would go at least once a day, at least. Its hard for me to go now, its even hard for me to drive in that direction. It hurts.

When I have hard or difficult memories, I try really hard to wash the bitterness away with something happy. Last week when this happend and it really started to get at me, I was walking downtown and I just started to think about how many trips my granny and I took down there. On Fridays it was like a treat. We'd take the bus, leaving home around 9 or 10 in the AM and go downtown to pay her bills and just look around. We'd have lunch at the counter of Murphy's and then be back home in time for her stories on TV. Something so simple, but I have it forever.

Today, when it happened I started to think about Sesame Street. Every morning when my mom dropped me off at gma's before she went to work, thats what I watched. Then I'd have a snack, maybe a nap, play outside if I could, and come back in to watch another afternoon episode of Sesame Street, 321 Contact, and whatever else came on PBS..

Here I am, 28 years old, and thats what I think about, those times I treasure. But there is much more, my gma did more than take me on the bus and let me watch TV, its the fact that those simple things were made so special by her. With her.