New Week.

Sundays were sad as a kid. I guess it was just the realization that a new week was upon me, back to school, back to bedtimes, back to chores. As I've gotten older though, I see Sundays in a different light, now I do see it as the start of a new week, a chance to reorganize and try again to get things in order, to start fresh. I hope that the toilets and sinks get put in this week, the plumber seems to have a bit of a problem with doing what we want, instead he likes to do what he wants. I also hope that I can at least get my last week of class finished up without much hassle. I've got a group meeting this week and then its all done, grades should be turned in and I can breathe a bit easier until January. I also need to shop around with DH for another car. Living so far out in county house will mean that we have to have two vehicles now, not something I'm particularly happy about, but it has to be done.

I also hope that we can start to move things in bit by bit. Because of all the shish that has gone on with getting this house in order I don't really feel like its home, I hope that changes. I think that because of all the history that house contains I've been feeling a little unsettled, I keep reminding myself that we have to create new history in this space.

I remember the first time I ever saw the house. DH's mom had gone to the beach with some family members and so she needed him to go and get the mail, check things out, feed the cats. So DH (then my boyfriend) asked me to ride along with him, because his mom didn't care for me being brown and being with her nice cream-coloured son, she never spoke with me, nor wanted to meet me. So driving through the neighborhood and looking at her house made me feel like I was a spy. We drove around the block so I could get a good view of the house and see where DH grew up, and where I was not welcomed.

Fast forward now, 8 years later and I'm fuckin moving in. Its amazing. That house didn't have nae a brown person to come in there, and now there are going to be brown folks living there. I'm just amazed at how things can change. I would have never guessed that I'd live there. I am happy that we have made so many changes to the place, new colors, new walls, even new floors and siding and windows. I think DH and I both needed the place to be visibly different. Maybe I don't feel like its home just yet because I'm not there. Its also in quite a different location, I taint be no suburban girl, so this will take me some time.

I need to learn to be patient with myself, just tonight I was joking with DH that we could go ahead and sell the house now and move to Maryland. I like being on the Eastern shore. I like even more that its not Virginia. Since my granny passed my ties to this place are different. I'm happy that I have family here, but with very few (read 0) real prospects for school or work, I just don't wanna be here any more. But I don't have any real plans just yet, a few things I'm thinking about, but no real plans, so its probably best for us to be settled for the babe while we regroup and think things over.

New Week. New drink.