Just Tired

Tired of....
driving
inconsiderate people
no support
work
thanklessness
cell phones
stagnant water
racist people
the television
empty words
making plans
breaking plans
old motivation.


Things are still not balanced for me. I don't know. How do people do it? No, scratch that how to women with kids do it? How do i balance? How can I be who I want to be and not feel like I'm pulling my hair in order to do it? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.

I just know that I feel like I've got to work harder than I ever have before.

"rainy day, rain all day, aint no use in gettin up tired just let it groove it's own way" (Jimi Hendrix)
But my problem, is that I still lack that balance. When I take the approach to just "be like water" (Bruce Lee) I loose all sense of control and just let things take ME over. I feel so out of it, I'm sick of the space I'm in. How will I dig myself out of this? I want to be a good mother, but first I got to be a good person, a good human, woman, whatever, but damn if don't no body make this shit easy.