homesick II

got back home today. and it felt good, until it started to feel bad. just seeing places and things that haven't changed, can be good. very good.
but memories crash back, primarily ones that surround my granny. and the way things used to be. and then i get panicked, get sad, get angry, get fidgty all at once. its almost a physical reaction to my surroundings. its easier when i'm not here, because i don't have to think about. don't have to see her car, the places she went, the house. the holidays. but yet i yearn to come back to see my family, i guess its kind of bittersweet.

homesick

So. Not much is new. I'm tired. Every day it seems like the work just piles on more and there is no reprieve.

Tomorrow I have the following to do:
4 hours worth of teaching
A draft of a project proposal to prepare
Read a book
Go to Class

Thursday
More teaching
Lots more teaching
A proposal due.
Writing/drafting for the project I've got to do
Pack and clean for the upcoming holiday travel
Come up with a *feasible* plan of work I can accomplish over the break without making myself crazy

But tonight I'm just tired and I'm feeling down. Classes got me down, teaching got me down, being down got me down. I'm looking and knowing the semester is almost over but that is not helping me to feel better at all.

I'm hoping that being at home, amongst family-folk and good food and weather and shangs will help me. I might have to pull some all-nighters, but there's something about being in the comfort of home that doesn't make it as bad or as scary.....I hope.

just tryin to get through

so i keep having these random moments of terror, like i really get caught up in the stress of all the stuff i have to do. then it passes when i realize i only have like 4 more weeks and the semester is over.

my song for the day comes from Mos Def...its what I sing to my papers....
comes from Mos Def's The Panties from The New Danger

just want you to
Relax
Ease into it

Baby slow down, just take your time
You and me goin' be here for a while
Okay
Baby don't rush this, take your time
You and me goin' be here for a while
Okay
I got so much that I want to do
I just want to be close to you
Okay
I got so much that I want to do
But I can show you better than I can say

Don't wanna be no where but here
No where in this atmosphere
Stratosphere, ionosphere
Ain't no sphere that's bright like here
Don't wanna be no where but here
No where in this atmosphere
I'm good where I am

Baby slow down, take your time
You and me goin' be here for a while
Okay, hey
I got so much that I want to do
But I can show you better than I can say

Let me show you
Let me show you
Let me show you
Let me show you
Let me show you
I wanna show you
Let me show you
Let me show you
Let me show

Oh baby, you make me feel so good
Come let me take you by the hand
Oh baby, you make me feel so good
Let me show you how
Let me show you how
Let me show you now
Let me show it out
Let me show you how
I wanna show ya how
Let me show ya
Let me show ya
Let me show ya
Let me show ya
Move ya shoulders
Ohh

Baby slow down just take your time
You and me goin' be here for a while
Okay, hey
I got so much that I want to do
But I can show you better than I can say

Enough talk and let's move
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on, come on

i know, a sista got that seductive thing going for her papers...i'm an academic and a romantic.

New word bank for the babe

yogurt, please, bannana, bread, Zoe, Telly, Oscar (pronounced Ocar), Erine (now pronounced with two syllabus Er-nee), wipes, washclothe, bath, foot, shoe, toes, nose, pant, shirt, sock, all Seasame Characters, paper, pen, cra for crayon.

Today is the babe's 18 month b-day. I'm pround to report that her vocabulary is expanding, along with her belly because thankfuly she's much better now and the tummy bug has passed. She is also very interested in notebooks and pens and pencils and anything to write with.

a report

i have completed the following, how successful I am...i do not know:

emailed a doc to a teacher
cooked pancakes and ate breakfast
took a shower and got dressed
got the babe dressed and fed
babe is taking a nap
did some more research
blogged twice
talked to my bro
sent texts to my cousins
will now go outside and breathe some fresh air

and its only 4:00!!!!! sweet.

a summary

so, the babe was sick most of the week but the stomach bug has finally (i hope) subsideed). then DH got it, pretty bad, so we called in for reinforcements and the MIL came up. its been a great help. haven't had to worry about getting the babe up extra early in the mornging for me to go to work. very thankful for that.
got lots done yesterday, but not in any sense that i've actually completed anything, more in the sense that now i can begin to complete some things.
can't believe that its november all ready. that shocks me but i'm not going to complain about it. for some reason ive been feeling very emotional here lateley-i dont know if its the stress, or the lack of sleep, or the fact that now that i'm in some sort of routine, i can finally let myself go and feel some of the feelings i've been keeping cooped up inside.
but...for now, i'm feeling okie, got a doc that needs some serious revision so that i can be mailed, got some errands to run, so i gotta go head and get that ish done now.
but i am gonna do it with some rhythme